​        Sometimes it is necessary to move forward, change course or let go when you have been pursuing a particular course or goal for a while. This is always difficult, and especially when we may feel we are giving up on something that is or was important to us. How do we decide if and when it is the right thing to do? 
         The idea that we need to keep going, “never give up - you will eventually succeed” is drilled into us and when something is important, we definitely don’t want to give up too soon and fail to achieve a goal we have worked for and really want to achieve.  However, things do change. Priorities can change, new opportunities may present themselves or information may come to light that changes your goals, desires, priorities or perspective on something. How do we know when it is not only time, but necessary to make the shift and let go of an old vision, in order to pursue a new direction and new or different vision? This is not quitting, but something else. It is not that we feel it is too hard, out of reach or we have self-doubts about our ability to achieve the goal. It is realizing that something has changed and as a result, it is our desire and in the best interests of our highest good, according to our values and intuition to move in a new direction.
         Giving up one valued vision and replacing it with something new that now feels right for us, is not easy, but sometimes we need to make this tough decision. It becomes easier if we are in touch with and trust our intuition, but fighting with our logical reasoning may still be a battle. Is there a process that we can go through to make this decision feel better and make it easier for us to “turn the page”, so to speak?
         There are definitely some questions we should ask ourselves and possibly some assumptions and beliefs we need to evaluate and question in order to make this process move forward and feel we have come to a valid and necessary decision.  I am at such a point in my own life now and I have recently watched a couple of other people go through this difficult, but necessary process, so it has been on my mind as to how we can proceed with the least amount of difficulty, knowing we are doing what is right for us and not quitting or giving up on a prior goal. There are a number of circumstances in life that tend to lead to these types of changes and then there are the ones where we are propelled forward by something previously unacknowledged or some amazing opportunity.  Some of the circumstances that may lead to the necessity to make a change in direction are things like health, the death of a spouse or loved one, divorce or dissolution of a marriage or partnership or a change in economic status for any number of reasons. These are circumstances that we do not generally choose, but they are thrust upon us by life and we have to adapt.  They can leave us in complex circumstances that require us to change direction and reevaluate previously set goals and aspirations. The whole framework on which those goals and aspirations were based has changed and we must see things in a new context and move forward with a new outlook.  Many people have made these kinds of transitions and changed their goals, plans and the course of their lives in adapting to them. It was what they had to do to move forward and not quit on life. 

​       It can be very much the same when we make a change and decide to go in a different direction for reasons that are not so obvious or are more a matter of choice than those thrust upon us by life circumstances.  We are still seeing a significant shift in the parameters that we previously used to set our goals and aspirations, and therefore a need to reevaluate and consider a different direction.  It can be due to a perspective that we did not previously see, a change in some contributing factor or an opportunity that did not previously exist or was not part of our awareness.  It can also simply be the passing of time.  Many people as they get older and realize they have less time to live will change their priorities. This is a matter of coming to terms with an inevitability that always existed, but we had not considered it in the same light and deciding that perhaps one thing is more important to us than another.  We can not always have everything we want or aspire to and it sometimes becomes necessary to decide what is more important.  Do you want to travel or invest in an expensive hobby?  Is it more important to have money in the bank or experiences and stories to remember? Is owning our dream car or a home with a view a priority or would we rather spend time doing things we love with family and friends. Sometimes we can do both, sometimes we need to make a choice, even when it comes to our dreams and goals.
      Asking ourselves the tough questions to become fully aware of what our values are and what is most important to us is the key to making these decisions and feeling comfortable with “turning the page” and moving forward.  You have to really know that you are following your bliss and not giving up something for something lesser.  When you know you are choosing what you value most, you will be able to move forward without regret and know you are doing the right thing. Even when the decisions are hard and something is left behind with perhaps, bittersweet laments, you will know it is the right thing for you right now!  So, turn that page and get started on creating your new journey and masterpiece story! 

About the Author:  Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a colorfully creative journalist, inspiring transformational speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, editor, radio host, BLISS coach, event producer, Cosmic Concierge, the author of The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and co-author of Embraced By the Divine: The Emerging Woman’s Gateway to Power, Passion and Purpose. She has also contributed to several anthologies and personal growth books. Edie has interviewed such notables as Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Debbie Ford, don Miguel Ruiz,  J Marianne Williamson, Grover Washington, Jr., Noah Levine, Shirley MacLaine, Dennis Weaver, Ben and Jerry and His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  She calls herself an Opti-mystic who sees the world through the eyes of possibility. Edie writes for The Huffington Post, Psych Central, Beliefnet, Elephant Journal, The Good Men Project, Expanded Family, Meaningful Mom, Bucks Happening, Montco Happening, Hunterdon Happening, as well as a growing number of other venues. Edie is the founder of Hug Mobsters Armed With Love, which offers FREE HUGS events on a planned and spontaneous basis. She also facilitates a workshop called Cuddle Party which is a 3 1/2 hour opportunity to engage in safe, nurturing, non-sexual touch by consent. Communication and boundary setting skills are taught as well.  www.opti-mystical.com 

        Like many who are reading this, I am a Renaissance person, a serial entrepreneur, what I refer to as ‘professionally polyamorous,’ with many overlapping career paths offering financial support and emotional gratification. It has been this way for as long as I can remember. Throughout my adult life, I have been a lifeguard, swim team coach, massage practitioner, teacher for adults and children, practice patient for a medical school, social worker, addictions counselor, bereavement specialist, therapist, ice cream parlor scooper, waitress, artists’ model, clown, life coach, journalist, editor, book author, magazine publisher, interfaith minister, radio host, event producer, PR Goddess, greeting card writer, organ donor educator, support group facilitator, as well as active volunteer. I refer to myself as a ‘Cosmic Concierge,’ which means that I am well connected and know how to help people find resources.  My path continues to unfold before me.
        Periodically, I find myself (or lose myself) in feeling as if I am not doing enough fast enough for my nagging, nudging inner critic. That’s when I do something that I recommend for overachieving Type A’s…I Google myself! When in doubt, you can check it out too. You may be surprised at what you have accomplished.
      When I do that, I got a goofy grin on my face as I shook my head and think, “Wowie, that woman is busy!” When I can view myself from an outsider’s perspective, I can allow myself to relax, at least for the moment. Then, in typical fashion, I am off to the races again.  I chalk it up to being the daughter of a mom who, in my early childhood, worked from home as an Avon Rep., gate guard at our community pool in the summer, columnist for our local newspaper and designer of doll clothes. I would laugh at the cosmic coincidence that her boss for that last job was Mrs. Handy. In addition, she too was a volunteer, at the hospital, with Girl Scouts, and at the elementary school my sister and I attended. When Jan and I were old enough to be latchkey kids, she went to work as a switchboard operator at Sears until she retired at 65.  My father focused on one job for decades as a milkman for two different dairies and then shifted gears (no pun intended) and became a bus driver for SEPTA (the regional transportation company). Both instilled in me a sense of responsibility and told me that I could do whatever I wanted professionally as long as I enjoyed it and could support myself. They never said it would be single focused, thank goodness. Not sure how someone can remain in the same job for a lifetime. My curious mind is always reaching for new ideas. 

​       As the Grammy and Academy Awards have just occurred, I found myself fascinated with the success stories that played out on the screen. There was a time when each of these folks were not household names. I was delighted to hear that Brandi Carlile won Best American Roots Performance and Best American Roots Song for “The Joke”, and the album the track comes from, By the Way, I Forgive You, was named Best Americana Album. I initially heard this kick ass singer songwriter on member supported Philly based radio station WXPN around 10 years ago. The stirring song honors people who are marginalized and endangered, being seen as out of the mainstream. 
Rami Malek who rocked the screen and world as he embodied Freddie Mercury in the epic Bohemian Rhapsody was handpicked after being seen in the television show Mr. Robot. It was the role of a lifetime and likely will catapult his career even further.
          These are just two examples of those who likely had big dreams that they fed, watered and nurtured. I wonder who was on their team of yaysayers and if they faced naysayers who told them they wouldn’t reach that pinnacle. When I hear acceptance speeches, I am touched as award winners thank their families, friends and colleagues who lifted them aloft.
         In my own life, are many who fall into the first category and blessedly no one in the second group. Despite that, I still waver and doubt that my own vision for my life will play out the way I desire, all evidence to the contrary. It’s then that I turn to tried and true tools.
        One is what my friend Ruth Anne Wood calls Scripting For Success which is a vast toolkit of ideas to bring to here and now reality what we may only have mused about casually.
 
How to cultivate your glorious garden:

• Decide the crop you want to harvest. If you want watermelon, don’t plant tomatoes. You can’t get what you want, until you know what you want.
• Prepare the soil. Don’t plant on rocky, litter strewn surfaces. It is unlikely that any healthy crop will take root.
• Design the pattern and layout. Sure, scattering seeds randomly may yield something, but is it what you envisioned?
• Dig deep. If you place the seeds on top, they will blow away in the wind, or wash away in the rain.
• Weed out discontent and doubt or they will choke out the new growth.
• Nurture what is there, showering it with love and praise.
• See the finished product even while it is in process; keep your eye on the prize.
• Sometimes ‘shiny new object syndrome’ will kick in and distract you, in part as a way of protecting you from fear of failure.
• Have accountability partners who will keep you on track. These are folks who will remind you of your commitments.
• Create mini-goals for yourself if tackling intentions all at once seems too daunting and enjoy checking them off.
• Offer yourself small rewards for these micro milestones.
• Spend time with those you admire who have reached their goals and keep climbing higher. Remember that birds of a feather flock together.
• Remember that one hand washes the other, so it is important to be of mutual support to others. Don’t make it all about you even as you are being ‘shamelessly self-promoting’.
• Find a mentor. For the past 30 some years, Dr. Yvonne Kaye has been mine. From the get-go, she inspired me with these simple words, “Discipline is freedom,” which provided the structure from which my creativity could flow, and my free-spirited nature could emerge.
• Know that you are worthy to have your dreams and desires come to fruition.

Count me in as an ardent admirer and cheerleader!