Tera Lea Day, CLSC, CHT is a certified Master Practitioner NLP Life Coach with training, education and a degree in Medical Management and Administration. She has been teaching Anger Management Awareness since 2009. Initially teaching tools and techniques to develop new communication skills, Tera found her personal journey with anger issues to be the catalyst to her teaching style of personal process in the small group environment. Tera shares that she has lived, learned and continues to apply the very techniques she teaches, learning as much from her groups as she gives to them.
“My goal is to provide a safe place, without judgement for self-discovery, helping each person learn how the tools work." -
Ever feel like things are out of your control? Have you experienced a sleepless night with endless thoughts rehashing an encounter or situation that didn’t turn out as you planned? Did you experience the “Would have, Could have, Should have” syndrome or did your unconscious take you to the deep dark rabbit hole of irrational thinking?
There may be times in your life that everything seemed to be working against you. Anger and frustration set in, allowing you to excuse or blame the outcome on others. “How’s that working for you?” as Dr. Phil might said. Being stuck in the sleepless nights or days of frustration, rationalizing or playing the blame game, will not allow us to see through the muck and mire to make changes.
When was the last time you took a side glance as you passed a mirror, just to make sure everything looks good from the outside? Better yet, when have you ever stopped to look in the mirror, taking time to do eye to eye inventory of you starting from the inside? Change will only occur when we are willing to be accountable to ourselves for what is ours. You cannot change the people around you or the experiences of the past. (as much as we would like to believe that we can)
As with the lyrics from Michael Jackson’s song “Man in the Mirror”:
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make a change.”
Now Look in the mirror of life to learn about you. Do you like what you see? Is it time to make a change from within? Take this moment to “Accept You” for who you are, here and now. Believe that change is possible. Remember you are human with choices and decisions to make.
Keep it simple and learn your warning signs when things are not working for you. What are your triggers? People, places and things can all become triggers. What are your expectations? Perhaps they are unrealistic. Are you projecting an outcome before it happens? Perception can be a projection.
I realize these are questions that we do not like to ask ourselves, however, in doing so they allow us to know who we are and see the avenues to change. I found the first moment I truly “Looked in the Mirror” I had to become very real with myself.
My daughter shared the following with me, and it helped me to understand I had the pen within me to write the changes into my story.
YOU are the creator of your Reality & You need to take Responsibility for it…
Your current situation is the result of your past thoughts & actions…
You are the creator, writer, producer, director & actor in your own story…
So, make your reality how you want it…. (unknown author)
Now ask yourself is it time to “Look in the Mirror” and make the changes? Start the re-write on your personal story today!
Remember you can always seek professional help with a therapist or life coach if you need assistance in this process.
Sending Healing to all, as you “Look in the Mirror” with the Power of Change, Tera Lea Day, CLSC, Cht,
About the Author: Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, at Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com. Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change. She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has two other wellness-related businesses Salt Works Pods, offering Salt Therapy and Total Wellness Products. offering natural healing products. All four businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC. Kate is a speaker, author and retreat facilitator. She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange "Embrace Change with Kate ".
This is a term that is frequently used in the sports world! It refers to everything flowing exactly as you would want it to or have imagined it in your dreams and sometimes even better than you might have imagined. In the world of spirituality being in the zone or flowing with the Universe is also a concept that people aspire to. We call it something different though, it is synchronicity, or maybe sometimes serendipity and on occasion called “magic”. It is when all is flowing effortlessly our way in abundance for our best and highest good.
As with being in the zone in the sports world, being in the zone or in synchronicity spiritually seems to come without effort, but in truth, it is the consequence of awareness and preparation meeting opportunity in the moment. It is a mindset and mind flow that has been cultivated to the point that it flows naturally and automatically. It is practice that has become habit and it is habit that have become pattern and a set of beliefs that align with our deepest and truest self.
How does an athlete get to that point where “being in the zone” happens? According to an article by Mike Edger, In Sports Psychology Today, titled The Zone:
“The ‘zone’ is a state of extreme focus that helps athletes in all sports perform at their peak potential. It is when your mind fully connects with achieving a goal, such as, getting a hit, or stealing a base. Attention is absorbed into the present (the here and now only). When you’re in the zone your mind only processes the thoughts and images so that help you execute your task successfully.”
The National Academy of Sports describes ‘the zone’ this way-
“Being in the zone, also referred to as a state of flow, comes from activities that are intrinsically motivating. There are several common elements of flow in sports: a balance of challenge and skills, complete absorption in the activity, clear goals, merge of action and awareness, total concentration, loss of self-consciousness, a sense of control, no extra rewards, transformation of time, and effortless movement.”
It is apparent that much of this comes from and is a spiritual state in itself, but it also gives an image and demonstration of how we achieve or get into “the zone” or that state of synchronicity in any area of our lives. It has a component of what we are currently calling mindfulness. For instance, from the definitions above it is easy to see how a performer giving an electrifying performance has achieved that state and a speaker who is mesmerizing their audience has achieved that state, as well. Even the artist or the writer who draws their readers or viewers into their world is operating in “the zone”.
It is possible to see then, how the elements that bring us into “the zone” and that magical state of synchronicity, whatever we may be doing in our lives, are very similar to the state described in sports as “being in the zone”. Just as sports goals have been achieved by adopting some of the practices of spirituality, we can achieve that state of “being in the zone” spiritually and feeling synchronicity with the Universe with similar practices. Some of those practices of spirituality that are the tools of connection are mediation, mindfulness, developing a mindset or mind flow that is consistent and becomes habit, cultivating a vision, concentration or focus, clarity, awareness, gratitude, trust and intuition and finally, belief. Like the movement of sports, movement in the spiritual sense is energy and must be effortless, timely and timeless. The athlete making that shot they have imagined and envisioned a thousand times mentally, in real time, is the same as when those things we have imagined come to us easily in other areas of life. When things, such as, ideas, creativity, money, love, security, health, or happiness just seem like they are simply meant to be, we are in the ‘zone’, in synchronicity with the Universe. It is bringing us what we have imagined and sometimes even surprising us with serendipity or “happy accidents” that align with our best and highest good. Like the athlete who sometimes achieves something never imagined when their well-practiced skills meet opportunity to create that unimagined moment, we too, can have those moments in our spiritual lives and in all areas of our life experience.
The key to “being in the zone” seems to be training and honing your skills in those areas you are passionate about to the highest level, no matter what you are doing. That is the magic of it! Ask an athlete or anyone accomplished in any discipline how they achieved that moment of peak performance and they will likely tell you they don’t know – “they just feel it”, but the truth is they have cultivated and created the right mix of skills, along with mental and emotional attributes to achieve that ultimate moment.
“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you do repeatedly.”
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This Guest Blog will feature contributions from experts & other advocates on topics that speak to integration of mind, body & spirit wellness.