Reflections on Finding Clarity

        ​With the passing of another year that has been extraordinarily impactful, I realize that my perception of life and my place in the scheme of things has shifted. This strange year, 2020, has been one of deep and frequent reflection and much soul searching. I know that has been the case for me and suspect that many have gone through similar processes. It has been a year filled with obstacles, challenges and changes that I would never have imagined. And, in that there has been a lot of taking stock, reassessing and yes, growth! I had planned some change into my life for this year and I expected to do some re-adjusting, but I will confess that 2020 has been more of a roller coaster ride than I could have ever anticipated. The biggest surprise has been some long searched for answers to life quandaries and dilemmas that have just dropped into my consciousness and given me unexpected clarity around some of my most important wonderings.
        I think we all seek more direction in our lives and to have a certainty about our wants and needs and where we should put our energy and efforts to feel the greatest sense of joy and satisfaction as we travel through life. So many choices and paths we could pursue, but what is the right path and the one that will be worth it? Are we motivated to go in a certain direction and will we get what we want, if we do? Is what we want, what will really make us feel the way we want to feel? So many thoughts can get so complicated and, yes, confusing! Sometimes there are even other people or practical considerations that play into our decision making and make it even more difficult and complex! Are there really answers and is even thinking about it a waste of time? Too be honest, I think it is. I have come to realize that too much thinking and trying to logically plot everything out with our limited conscious abilities is probably one the biggest inhibitors to resolving our life quandaries. 

         I do believe in questions, curiosity, openness and possibility, but I think we have to let go of our expectation that there is a blueprint that we can follow and achieve a pre-determined outcome and that will lead us to the satisfaction we seek. I think it is a constantly evolving process; everything can change and become something new at any given point.  What does that mean for our comfort level with change and uncertainty? Are we destined then to be fearful and apprehensive about what might happen next and whether we will be able to adapt? 
       While I have come to learn that we will, I know that this is not an easily answered question and the doubts and consequent feelings come very naturally. However, what if we let those doubts go, throw caution to the wind and just follow our first instincts without having an answer to all the questions and only a vision of ourselves feeling joyful and satisfied?  A vision that only fulfills our desires without answering the how’s or why’s of getting there may be the better option. I believe we need to ask the question, put it out there and then let the Universe or our subconscious mind do the work and lead us where we want and need to go.
        What have I discovered in this turbulent year with regard to my own journey and path forward? I have discovered not to overwork my intellect and to ask the questions and then let the answers flow naturally and follow that intuition, because it just feels right, even if I don’t know why! And, here I am living in AZ and loving my new home without knowing the answer to that question, “Why did you move to Arizona?  Let the adventure begin! I am excited to see the future unfold.